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Friday, January 24, 2014

The Curse of the Ambitious Woman

I think ambitious women ultimately live more lonely and difficult lives then ambitious men. I think about the countless tales about exceptional men today and in history, many who were married and had children, and were supported by these women who tolerated (as much as we think) their partners traveling, spending countless hours in labs, touring with their works, being involved in politics, etc. Yet, what about the supportive partners of equally ambitious women? Men (or women) who were content to be "in the background," supportive, and understanding of these women's strange callings to very different lines of work? It seems like for a woman to truly go after whatever is her calling in a very serious manner requires work hours and struggles that male partners are less willing to deal with than female partners are willing to deal with. Culturally, it's a bit ingrained in us, of course. I can only think about Mad Men, and that not-so-distant gender/power scenario. Housewife stays home, and the man goes out into the workforce to succeed and bring home the cash. Housewife can take some horse riding classes but other than that, her duty is to support the husband and attend to the children.

I'm certainly not saying anything that is revealing or ground breaking, but as I've spent some time today reviewing my own relationship history, I am reminded that if I were a male, with the same amount of ambition and determination, and work ethic, I don't think I would have gone through the same relationship scenarios. There is nothing I can do about it, except just stop making films. It takes me an average of 4-5 years to get one film out, so slowing down my pace to become a "better woman" only will prolong this timeline. This 4-5 year timeline is the reality primarily because I have to work other jobs to make a living, and I do most of the labor intensive tasks required of the many stages of making a film (producing, directing, writing, editing, color correcting, animating).  I've sacrificed plenty to be doing what I do, and expect to never marry nor have children. (Not that I really want either, so it's hard for me to spout this off as a sacrifice.) But I feel that while most people today are fine with women working, and they say verbally that it's great that ladies are out there being leaders, working their way up into corporate leadership positions, etc. personally, they don't want to be married or in relationships with these types of women. Deep down inside, everyone just wants a nice girl who comes homes regularly and has her weekends free for house improvements, sex, and having dinner parties with friends.